Horoscope
by Mellow Lellow
Summary: "Everyone knows the only reason people read Konoha's Leaflet is to get their daily Horoscopes." Sasuke pouts, Sakura is victorious, and Naruto tries to survive. In which all of our favorite people reveal their personal horoscopes for the day. Character one-shots and various zodiacs.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I receive weekly calls from Kishimoto himself for ideas, because, I'm. Just. That. Awesome. (Insert exasperated sigh)Girls can dream, yes? Enjoy.

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**Horoscope**

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**Mellow Lellow**

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Sakura Haruno, March 28

_**ARIES**_

_You may find it hard to connect with your emotions today, Aries. It could be that it's difficult to find a bit of quiet time when you can really sit down and listen to your inner voice. There are distractions all around that are pulling you in many different directions. Keep in mind that these forces aren't necessarily acting in your best interests._

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The scene before you shows an overcrowded clothing store. Fluorescent lights glaring down on the havoc. You see clothes thrown everywhere. People fighting over shirts like animals. Children are crying or running rampant through the racks. Or both.

You note a woman yelling at a hopeless salesperson.

You see a suspiciously homeless looking man shoving woman's underwear in his pockets.

You think you see someone passed out in the shoe department, but they could just be sleeping. On a pile of shoes. Sure, why not.

Now rewind a bit. Remember the screaming woman and the poor salesperson who happens to be on the unfortunate end of this verbal lashing? Yea, that would be me you see there. No, no, not the fashionably dressed woman screeching her lungs out. To your right a bit. Yup, right there.

My name's Sakura Haruno. I work at this retail store. And that is me, getting my eardrums destroyed. This is what I have to deal with everyday.

See, this woman comes in, wanting to return a skirt she supposedly bought here, but conveniently forgot her receipt. Thing is? We don't sell that skirt, and never have. But when I tried to explain this to her? She flies off the handle. And the funny thing is, I can't for the life of me, bring myself to care. I find myself wondering if she knows that her Gucci bag is actually a fake.

"Are you listening to me?!"

_ Psh. Hell No. _

I nodded my head in assent.

"…Incompetent people, nowadays!!"

I'm betting this woman has no idea that my IQ is probably double hers.

_ What complete Idiots._

"You'll get no where in this industry with that attitude, missy!"

_ Bitch please._

I quirked my eyebrow. I almost laughed in her face. Really, how absurd.

Because, you know, students (Moi) who attend the most prestigious Medical University in the country on full ride scholarships _need_ to do well in the retail industry. Psh, this was a _side _job.

_ You don't deserve this!_

"WELL??" She finished quite dramatically.

I gazed around the scene around me, taking in the utter chaos.

_ LEAVE!_

"I think," I began, sweeping my gaze over her, "that, I have more important things to be doing." And with that, I sauntered past, leaving her with her mouth agape. I bid good riddance to annoying children, left behind creepy homeless men and said farewell to people sleeping on the shoes.

I deserved better! I was going to be a doctor, damn it! I can't achieve that goal here. I'm going to be the best doctor this country has ever seen.

And I will never, _ever_ have to work in a retail store again.

_ Hell yea!_

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_A/N: Whoo! Done with the first one. This is going to be a series of one shots, based on Aries(since Saku is indeed an aries) Horoscopes. Please review. It's amazing, but it actually makes me want to write! Fancy that. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Horoscope**

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**Mellow Lellow**

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Naruto Uzumaki, October 10

**LIBRA**

_People close to you might be a bit worried about you, Libra. Too much work and socializing might have you feeling less than your usual self, and perhaps even a little feverish and headachy. If so, this is a good day to take time out, stay home, and rest. Don't worry about sabotaging your success. It will continue. Take a break and your body will reward you with greater clarity and concentration._

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"It's been quiet. Too quiet." Sasuke observed with suspicion.

"Hmm, we haven't seen Naruto around today. Now _that_ is odd." Sakura replied.

"Hn."

"I think we should check his apartment to make sure he's feeling okay."

Sasuke frowned. "Whyy?" He whined.

The pinkette glared. "Because he is our friend and that is what friends do for each other."

Sasuke grunted once more as he dutifully followed the stubborn girl down the street toward their friend's apartment.

After knocking several times with no response, Sakura was seriously considering just knocking the door down.

"Maybe he's eating ramen like usual…" Sasuke offered.

"…Or he could be away on a mission." He continued hopefully.

Sakura quirked an eyebrow at him. "I can sense his chakra signature inside, stupid."

"Hn."

"Alright, let's find a window." She said, leaping to the rooftops.

Sasuke huffed before following after her. He reappeared next to his pink haired friend on the small balcony outside Naruto's window.

They both peered inside.

"Why the hell is he sleeping under so many blankets? It's freaking _hot_ today."

"How obtuse can you be? Obviously he's _sick._" Sakura said worriedly. "Let's go get him some medicine and some broth. That'll help him feel better." She said resolutely.

Sasuke sighed. "This is becoming too troublesome."

"Sasuke? Would you like to die?" Sakura asked with a saccharine smile.

He gulped "No," he muttered.

"Good. Let's go."

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An hour later they arrived back at Naruto's door carrying several bags of goods.

"Is all of this necessary?" Sasuke asked, thinking about all the money _he_ just spent on this little escapade.

"Obviously. Haven't you ever been sick?"

"No."

She stared at him balefully before shoving her bags into his arms and turning to face the door.

Placing a hand over the lock, she sent a shock of chakra, releasing the latch with a click.

She took her bags from Sasuke, smiling triumphantly.

"Why didn't you do that earlier?" He asked, annoyed.

"Because that would have been considered trespassing."

"And this isn't?" He asked looking doubtful.

She frowned. "Shut up, Sasuke. No one asked you anyway." She muttered, shouldering her way into the small apartment.

The mess was catastrophic.

"How the hell does the Dobe live like this?" Sasuke asked, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

Sakura punched him in the arm, a little chakra added.

Making her way into the blonde's room, she found him cacoconed under, what she guessed, was every blanket he owned. Peaking under the mound, she located Naruto's head.

"Naruto. Naruto, can you wake up long enough to take some medicine from me?"

Bright blue eyes blinked blearily open. "Wha- Whashappining?" He mumbled.

"We're here to take care of you, Naruto."

"Mmmkay." He yawned, taking the medicine offered, barely opening his eyes.

With that he fell back over into his covers and began snoring.

Sakura giggled and Sasuke rolled his eyes as they listened to the blonde sleep-talking.

"Sa-Saku-chan, I can't take a day off…..zzzz"

"Zzzz Ima be the Hokage!...zzzzz gotta work hard….."

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Smiling, she rolled up her sleeves and got to work.

Together they cleaned Naruto's apartment, made him some broth and made sure that all needs the future Hokage had were met for him to get better.

Because that's what friends do.

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A/N: So I decided to make this story Horoscopes for all our favorite characters in Konoha! Enjoy!

As usual, leave me some comments and feedback! I'd love to know what you guys think.


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